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Saybrook announces long-term contract with new hotel for residential conferences

27 May 2015
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Robert Schley, Saybrook’s Conference Director, confirms that contracts have now been signed with the Hyatt Regency Monterey Hotel and Spa in Monterey, California, for the residential conferences starting in January 2017 through August 2019. All of Saybrook’s residential conferences, along with the annual graduation ceremony, will then take place at the Hyatt. The conferences will continue to be held at the beginning of the Fall and Spring semesters each year, in August and January, and will also include the Residential Orientations for new students. Seattle residential students will have their first RC each semester with the other students in Monterey and then continue the rest of the semester in Seattle.

The Hyatt Hotel is located on the historic Del Monte Golf Course run by the Pebble Beach Management Company. With 550 rooms, the hotel is large enough to accommodate all of Saybrook’s students, faculty and staff in one place, and with more than 43,000 square feet of meeting space, indoors and out, it should prove to be an ideal location for the residential conferences. It is spread out like a university campus in more than 20 small buildings only three stories tall. There are numerous lounge areas and informal meeting spaces available for faculty/student interaction, and several outdoor venues like fire pits and swimming pools for recreation and just hanging out. A conference center in the center of the complex contains most of the meeting rooms, but quite a few small hospitality suites and parlor suites can be found in the nearby residential buildings that will be perfect for small classrooms and breakout sessions. The hotel is only eight residential blocks from a beach on Monterey Bay, offering great opportunities for walks and fresh air breaks.

The hotel is very near the Monterey Regional Airport, which offers flights on regional jets to numerous cities in the West, including San Francisco, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, San Diego, and Phoenix. The Hyatt also participates in a regular shuttle service to the San Jose Mineta International Airport.

Monterey and its neighbor communities of Carmel, Pacific Grove and Seaside form a wonderful community with spectacular scenery along the Central Coast of California. Famed for the Pebble Beach Country Club and the 17-Mile Drive, along with Monterey’s Cannery Row of Steinbeck’s notoriety and the world-renowned Monterey Aquarium, this area is ripe for exploration and fun!

Following are all the confirmed dates for Saybrook’s Residential Conferences going forward:

2015-2016 Academic Year

Fall 2015

  • College of Integrative Medicine and Health Sciences – August 14-18, 2015, Cedarbrook Lodge, Seattle Washington
  • College of the Social Sciences – August 22-26, 2015, Westin SFO Hotel, Millbrae, California
  • CSS Leadership and Management Program – August 22-25, 2015, Cedarbrook Lodge, Seattle, Washington

Spring 2016

  • College of Integrative Medicine and Health Sciences – January 13-17, 2016, Cedarbrook Lodge, Seattle, Washington
  • College of the Social Sciences – January 23-27, 2016, Westin SFO Hotel, Millbrae, California

2016-2017 Academic Year

Fall 2016

  • College of Integrative Medicine and Health Sciences – August 22-26, 2016, Cedarbrook Lodge, Seattle, Washington
  • College of the Social Sciences – August 20-25, 2016, Westin SFO Hotel, Millbrae, California

Spring 2017

  • College of Integrative Medicine and Health Sciences – January 21-25, 2017, Hyatt Regency, Monterey, California
  • College of the Social Sciences – January 21-25, 2017, Hyatt Regency, Monterey, California

2017-2018 Academic Year

Fall 2017

  • College of Integrative Medicine and Health Sciences – August 26-30, 2017, Hyatt Regency, Monterey, California
  • College of the Social Sciences – August 26-30, 2017, Hyatt Regency, Monterey, California

Spring 2018

  • College of Integrative Medicine and Health Sciences – January 20-24, 2018, Hyatt Regency, Monterey, California
  • College of the Social Sciences – January 20-24, 2018, Hyatt Regency, Monterey, California

2018-2019 Academic Year

Fall 2018

  • College of Integrative Medicine and Health Sciences – August 25-29, 2018, Hyatt Regency, Monterey, California
  • College of the Social Sciences – August 25-29, 2018, Hyatt Regency, Monterey, California

Spring 2019

  • College of Integrative Medicine and Health Sciences – January 19-23, 2019, Hyatt Regency, Monterey, California
  • College of the Social Sciences – January 19-23, 2019, Hyatt Regency, Monterey, California

2019-2020 Academic Year

Fall 2019

  • College of Integrative Medicine and Health Sciences – August 24-28, 2019, Hyatt Regency, Monterey, California

  • College of the Social Sciences – August 24-28, 2019, Hyatt Regency, Monterey, California

Eastern versus Western psychology

20 April 2015
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“Life ceases to be problematic when it is understood that the ego is a social fiction.” — Alan Watts


Because the general orientation of Western psychology has been toward the observation, categorization, and alteration of observable behavior, this has led to a therapeutic attitude limited to the diagnosis and treatment of psychopathology. The general assumption seems to be that drug therapies and techniques that lead to behavioral change will also initiate change in mental processes and states. Until the advent of cognitive, existential, phenomenological, humanistic, and transpersonal perspectives, little effort was devoted to the rigorous study of inner mental states and processes and embodied cognition.

Most Eastern psychologies, in contrast, concentrate on the exploration of the function and operation of the mind as well as methods to free the individual from suffering. Since Eastern psychologies are inwardly focused, they may appear to be narcissistic or nihilistic. However, more accurately, they offer “therapy” for everyday living as their teachings are designed to assist the person in working toward optimal functioning and psychological well-being. Through inner development, the individual comes to see his or her place in the larger context as a part of the whole, which can lead to improved relationships with self, others, and the environment.


What is Western Psychology?

Western science has relied on methods for reducing processes to their most elemental level and investigating them in isolation as single variables.

Reductionism, while useful in certain applications, is not helpful in understanding the person. Humans are intersubjective beings interacting with other people and environmental factors in a constant state of flux. Clearly, human beings cannot be reduced to parts but must be understood within the context of the whole.

While Western psychology seems to reflect an attitude that the individual must be “helped” from without, by another person, Eastern attitudes are quite the opposite. Eastern, holistic perspectives recognize the interactive nature of reality, similar to the views of general systems theory. Life is a universal process in which every individual is an essential part. Eastern systems acknowledge that the individual has to decide first to seek change and help her or himself through inner exploration—restructuring and cultivating mental processes, although the guidance of others who have experienced the process may be sought.

History of Eastern Psychology

The approaches of Buddhism, Taoism, Vedanta, or yoga are not easily comparable to religious or philosophical systems as we understand them in the West.

For Western psychology, according to Alan Watts, “The psychotherapist has, for the most part, been interested in changing the consciousness of … disturbed individuals. The disciplines of Buddhism and Taoism are, however, concerned with changing the consciousness of normal, socially adjusted people.” In the five decades since these words were written, Western psychology has become increasingly interested in aiding “normal” individuals to reach their maximum psychological potential. In the Eastern view, we are all in need of “therapy” (normal or disturbed alike) since few of us are functioning free from the influence of delusions, projections, or uncurbed desires.

Eastern psychologies maintain that, as a result of social and self-conditioning, our ambitions, beliefs, desires, expectations, preconceptions, and views of the nature of reality are illusory. Since we think and act in accordance with these illusions, we invariably suffer (i.e., experience disappointment, frustration, and pain). However, through the process of meditation and mindfulness, we are able to examine the inner workings of our mind and come to understand the nature of illusion and how it arises. We then come to experience a profound change in attitude and perspective. We begin to see things as they truly are, unfettered by illusions, social mandates, or our own projections. Thus, we come to a more authentic and genuine view of reality.

Difference Between Eastern and Western Psychology

Eastern concepts of the ego differ from Western concepts.

In the West, the ego (regardless of the various ways in which theorists define it) is seen as central to identity and personality. From Eastern perspectives, however, the ego is a social fiction. This illusion becomes apparent during meditation when the practitioner recognizes that there is no “I” that can be identified. There is rather an awareness attaching itself to passing thoughts, judgments, and so on, erroneously assumed to represent the ego. Since these thoughts and judgments are ever-changing, there exists no permanent structure that can be called the ego.

Eastern traditions teach that everything is impermanent. Like the breath rises and falls or the seasons come and go, all things are seen as being in a constant process of arising, forming, and dissolving. For example, in Taoism, through wu wei (the attitude of noninterference with the nature of things) one learns to live and act in harmony and go with the flow of events and situations. They’re not passive observers; they are active participants in life, selecting actions in harmony with nature.

Terms such as nirvana, satori, realization, awakening, and enlightenment denote the highest state of spiritual and psychological development and transcendence. Our illusions and distortions, caused by our belief in a fictional ego bent on fortification and justification of a self, prevents us from recognizing the underlying harmony and unity that pervades all of life.
Updated: May 31, 2023

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Henry Murray’s personology

15 December 2014
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In Henry A. Murray’s “Explorations in Personality,” dedicated to Morton Prince, Sigmund Freud, Lawrence Henderson, Alfred N. Whitehead, and Carl G. Jung, he asked:

“What propels man? With what environmental objects and institutions does he interact and how? What occurrences in his body are most influentially involved? What mutually dependent processes participate in his differentiation and development? What courses of events determine his pleasures and displeasures? And, finally, by what means can he be intentionally transformed?”

Murray’s multivariate study of 51 men sought “experimental evidence for the validity of certain general intuitions about human nature, which operated in everyday existence.” His psychology of personality attempted to “get below the social derm of personalities… in the search for covert springs of fantasy and action.” He believed that “personalities constitute the subject matter of psychology, the life history of a single man [or woman] being a unit with which the discipline of psychology has to deal.”

While the prevailing custom in psychology is to study one aspect of an episode at a time (i.e., perception, emotion, intellection or behavior), Murray, instead, selected representative or existentially significant events within an individual’s life for analysis and interpretation. He spoke to the importance of historical narrative in psychological science, the mythic and visionary dimension of personality, and the study of the person at multiple levels of complexity.

Personology: Dynamic organismal theory of personality

Murray envisioned a study of the person or Personology as:

“The branch of psychology which concerns itself with the study of human lives and the factors that influence their course which investigates individual differences and types of personality… the science of men, taken as gross units… encompassing “psychoanalysis” (Freud), “analytical psychology” (Jung), “individual psychology” (Adler) and other terms that stand for methods of inquiry or doctrines rather than realms of knowledge.”

He proposed that the profession of psychology construct a scheme of concepts for portraying the entire course of individual development, providing a framework into which any single episode within a person’s life, natural or experimental, may be fitted. Personology was thus based on the organized collection of facts pertaining to the long course of complex events from human conception to death contained in case histories based on observations of behavior and the subject’s memories and introspections.

Murray’s proposal for a “dynamical organismal” theory of personality took into account all speculations that referred to impelling forces, passions, appetites, or instincts as a “rationalized elaboration of the perception that a human-being is a motile discriminating, valuating, assimilating, adapting, integrating, differentiating and reproducing temporal unity within a changing environmental matrix.”

Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny?

In Murray’s model, the passage of time was marked by the rhythms of assimilation, differentiation, and integration. There was learning, and there was maturation. Thus new and previously precluded combinations came into being. With the perishing of each moment, the organism was left a different creature, never to repeat itself exactly. No moment was typical of the whole. While there were orderly rhythms and progressions that were functions of the seasons, age, and sex, and established cultural practices, life was an irreversible sequence of non-identical events.

And, there was an “eternal return” (spiral evolution) in which the child was father to the man. Murray believed that these phenomena made the study of biography imperative. Repetitions and consistencies were due in part to the fact that impressions of situations left enduring “traces” (images) in the organism, which may be reactivated by the appearance of situations that resembled them; so that some of the past was always alive in the present.

Unconscious regnant processes

During a single moment, only some of the regnant processes had the attribute of consciousness, therefore, “looking at the matter from the viewpoint of introspective awareness,” Murray believed, “it was necessary to postulate unconscious regnant processes.” Regnant processes were those exercising power and authority; mutually dependent processes that constituted dominant configurations in the brain (a unitary temporal segment of brain processes; the totality of such processes occurring during a single moment).

Regnancies were the results of external press, freshly aroused emotional needs (id), conscious intentions (ego), accepted cultural standards (superego), and customary modes of behavior (habit system) in varying proportions. The relative strength of these influences determined what tendencies would be objectified. Regnant processes stood between one’s inner and outer world.

As Murray explained, a person was time-binding; he or she related to the past and the shadowy preconception of what lay ahead, making for continuity of purpose. Murray’s unconscious regnant processes provided a time-space frame for conscious events having unconscious influence in his multivariate study of the person and Thematic Apperception Test.

The study of experience, needs, and drives

For Murray, desire and drive were two aspects of the same thing, thus he professed that psychologists use introspection to reveal the possible internal relations of drives. Given that every need was associated with traces representing movement, agencies, pathways, and goal-objects, taken together, they constituted a dynamic whole and a need to integrate—exhibiting itself as a fantasy that depicted a possible and expected course of events. The term “need,” a momentary direction of regnant processes in the brain region, and “drive,” the direction of activity, did not denote an observable fact. Murray was much more interested in drives as field forces within the brain and conflicts between rival tendencies in the inhibition of emotion. Emotion, as a hypothetical concept, stood for an excitatory process in the brain (interbrain; thalamic region that manifested itself subjectively or objectively, or both).

An emotion occurred without the subject’s being aware of it (unconscious). The subjective manifestation being that quality of the experience, which was generally designated as emotional (excited). The objective manifestation was a compound of autonomic disturbances and the intensification of disorganization of effective behavior (motor and verbal). While a drive was a force in the brain that excited a flow of images or objects once perceived in conjunction with the activities of that drive, Murray argued:

“Experience seems to show that a certain desire may sometimes give rise to a dream or fantasy and at other times promote overt activity. Without the concept of an underlying drive one could not adequately represent the obvious relationship between fantasy and behavior.”

For more information on Henry Murray, click here.

Viewing addiction through an existential lens

2 October 2014
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Increasingly, we are reminded that addiction is a serious problem that threatens the physical, mental, and emotional lives of all those involved—the person addicted, friends, family and loved ones of those addicted, and society at large.

We watch news of famous and talented people, such as Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Robin Williams. Both acknowledged their lifelong battles with addiction and ended up “losing.”

We ponder the causes of addiction, wonder what could have been done, and grieve the loss—of the individual and the potential of what that life might have been.

When young people are addicted, we hope they will be able to recover before it is “too late.” We see the addictive struggles of young stars played out as “dramas” in the media in our “star-obsessed” society. We yearn for a “recovery” or a “comeback” story. We hope they will “return” before it is too late and they “burn out.”

When the young person addicted is a family member, our feelings are even more intense and personal. Unfortunately, my husband and I speak from experience. Our granddaughter, age 20, has had ongoing struggles with alcoholism and has twice been in rehab.

This past summer, we were encouraged, hopeful, and proud when she achieved a professional accomplishment that would qualify her for the profession she had chosen. And then, what happens all too frequently, she relapsed and had yet another alcohol-related crisis that threatened her achievement and endangered her life.

Because I consider myself a humanist and an existentialist, it makes sense I would turn to these philosophies to see what they might say about the challenges of addiction and how they might help me understand and cope with a tragic situation.

First, I can understand why adolescents would want to try drugs—friends do it, it is fun, and it is an adventure. I can appreciate the desire to be elevated to a mystical state (although that is probably not the way adolescents would describe it). I remember listening to Huston Smith, the authority on world religions, a number of years ago at a Saybrook residential conference. He talked about a book he had written called “Cleansing the Doors of Perception.”

His book explored mind-altering substances that are spiritual catalysts and produce mystical experience. I remember Smith saying how as a young man he yearned for “the infinite.” Who, young or old, doesn’t yearn for the infinite? The use of mind-altering substances to provide mystical adventures is nothing new—William James discussed in the early 1900s the use of alcohol throughout history to produce mystical states; Timothy Leary and Ram Dass experimented with substances to access other realms in the 1960s.

The problem occurs when substances used to create desired states becomes addictive rather than a periodic adventure. One journal article referred to adolescents’ experimentation with alcohol and drugs as a “rite of passage.” The article suggested many young people are able to use drugs on occasion without becoming addicted. Others are not. Adolescents who are more likely to become addicted are those who experience problems in school, have difficult family lives, have low self-esteem, and are dealing with other mental health challenges.

While there is evidence that family history may predispose one to addiction, when you are young, it is natural to think it will not happen to you. While I know some individuals who decided not to drink alcohol because they had a parent who was an alcoholic, many people do not take this precaution. Who knows why one child is able to use drugs or alcohol on occasion while another becomes addicted? While these questions remain unanswered, they help me to be compassionate and philosophical—even when I feel frustrated, angry, and sad because of the heartache addiction causes.

In our Western culture, addiction is generally considered to be a “disease.” There has been debate regarding whether the disease model is an accurate description of addiction. Suffice it to say that Western cultures generally have agreed to consider addiction a disease. The positive aspects of considering addiction a disease are practical—it means addiction will be treated as a healthcare problem rather than as a “sin” or “moral failing.” Those with alcohol and drug problems are able to receive treatment, services are covered by health insurance, health care groups join forces to address the problem, and biomedical research relating to addiction is funded. Regardless of how addiction is defined, I am thankful my granddaughter has access to healthcare services.

A drawback of the “disease” theory of addiction is that it may make addicts “victims” and release them from the responsibility to make good decisions, create meaningful lives, and be authentic. This is counter to the tenets of existential philosophy. Disease implies they have no freedom in the face of addiction. Humanistic approaches to addiction would build on the individual’s inherent potential to maintain healthy, meaningful relationships and to make choices that are in the best interests of oneself and others.

An existential approach to substance abuse suggests that people become addicted to substances when they use them to numb the disease that is part of the human condition and to dull existential pain. Victor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, explored the meaning of suffering and the importance of creating meaning for life as a primary motivation for living in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning.” Suffering can be both a cause of addiction and a motivation for recovery. An individual may become addicted to ease the pain of physical and emotional suffering. However, as addiction progresses, the condition produces its own suffering. Some addicts have to suffer the pain of “hitting bottom” to be motivated to reassess their lives, surrender to helplessness, and seek the help they need.

Some recovery programs have a spiritual component. The 12-Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) presents recovery as a spiritual journey—the steps are a means to achieve spiritual growth. A relative of our granddaughter, a minister, stated she was experiencing a “spiritual crisis.” While I may not share his definition of “spiritual,” I believe any suffering and life journey contains a spiritual component. This is not inconsistent with the beliefs of humanistic and existential philosophers that present a range of religious and spiritual beliefs, particularly when one includes “wisdom,” “self-transcendence,” “achieving meaning,” “developing inner resources,” and “concern for others” in a definition.

A fundamental belief of existentialism is individuals are free to make choices—individuals create who they are by values they hold, the decisions they make, and their actions. Ultimately, every decision made is a “life” or “death” decision—the decision either supports the life we want and who we want to be, our “essence,” or it does not. Making decisions that are life-affirming is a huge responsibility for an individual of any age; making good decisions may be particularly challenging for adolescents whose brains are still developing, are more prone to risk taking, and are more vulnerable to peer pressure than adults.

For those addicted, making the decision to refrain from substance abuse and stay sober must be very challenging, especially when one considers cravings caused by physical and emotional dependency. For those who love people with addictions, there is a point when we realize we have no control over their decisions and their recoveries. All we can do is continue to love them, provide resources to support their recovery, and decide how we will manage our sadness so it does not destroy our own lives.

If we define people with addictions simply in terms of their disease, we are depriving them of their human potential. We are fixing them at a particular stage in their emotional, physical, and spiritual development, and forgetting they have the possibility to make life-affirming decisions—the very core of human existence. For people struggling with addiction, the decision not to abuse substances is a fundamental choice and a life or death decision—one that may have to be made every day, over and over again. It is a decision that requires enormous courage in the midst of great anxiety—the courage to “let go” of destructive behavior in order to “grasp” new possibilities for one’s life and the courage to “grasp” in order to “let go.” I hope those faced with this decision will choose life—the possibilities are endless.

References:

Frankl, V. (1984). Man’s search for meaning. New York, NY: Washington Square Press. (Original work published 1946).

James, W. (1997). The varieties of religious experience. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster. (Original work published 1902).

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The importance of gender equity

14 August 2014
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In my last blog “Strengthening our Social Fabric,” I mentioned Sweden’s emphasis on gender equity as a way to create a good society. Here I will further consider the systemic implications of gender equity in hopes that we consider its importance to all societies.

The Global Gender Gap report in 2013 rates 136 countries on their ability to close the gender gap thus attaining equity in four key areas: economic participation and opportunity, health and survival, educational attainment, and political empowerment. I wonder how many people in the U.S. would be surprised that we do not show up in the top 20 countries with greater gender equity. The U.S. rated 23rd on the list, down one from 2012. Sweden ranked number four on the list, following their Scandinavian neighbors, Norway (three) and Finland (two). Iceland claimed the number one spot.

Yet, even though Sweden is relatively high in their ranking on the global scale, they see gender equity as so important to their social fabric that the government believes they still have work to do.

The aim of Sweden’s gender equity policy is to ensure that:

  • Women and men enjoy the same opportunities, rights and obligations in all areas of life.
  • Everyone, regardless of gender, has the right to work and support themselves.
  • They can all balance their careers and family life.
  • They can live without the fear of abuse or violence.

Gender equality implies not only equal distribution between men and women in all domains of society. It is also about the qualitative aspects, ensuring that the knowledge and experience of both men and women are used to promote progress in all aspects of society.

What strikes me in the commitment statement is the holistic nature of it. It recognizes the importance of equal opportunity across gender, adding the critical aspect of women supporting themselves while balancing family and career. And it recognizes the importance of having women’s voices and perspectives present to promote healthy progress in all aspects of society.

At 64 years old, I have seen many changes in our society in the U.S., but not really much progression in the status of women as full contributors to our society. Women professors in higher education are far fewer than male professors. That is likely the result of the financial and time commitment to attain a doctoral degree and build a career in academia. We continue to have only a few women at the top of major corporations and positions who would likely state that they have to sacrifice the other aspects of their lives to succeed in their position. Look around the chambers of the U.S. government. Granted there are a few more women there today than when I studied government in high school in the late 1960s. But considering that was nearly 50 years ago, we can’t be proud of our progress.

I wonder how the U.S. might be different if our government were to establish a clear commitment to gender equity and policies that backed it up. What would the impact be on children and families? On our schools? What if there were more women at the top of organizations or in positions of influence in the government? I believe we need to create a pathway of equal opportunity for women to move into these positions at the same pace as men.

I think the problem here in the U.S. is that there is very little overall commitment to gender equity. Most people don’t see how important it is to create a healthy society. We need to change the conversation from women needing equal pay, which is just one of many important factors, to how we can create the institutional, economic, cultural, and other conditions so that women can equally contribute their knowledge, skills, and experience to creating a better society. If we can reach a point of common understanding where we truly believe that women have just as important a role to play in the development of our nation as do men, we will find the resources and put in place the policies that will support women in assuming their proper place as leaders of change.

Myers-Briggs® and Leadership: What Personality Types Support Good Leadership?

11 August 2014
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The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI) is often used to improve overall performance in organizations. This tool can help workers gain self-awareness, improve emotional intelligence, and better understand how they—as well as those around them—operate in the workplace.

Which MBTI Type Makes the Best Leader?

Of the 16 possible personality types identified by the MBTI instrument, no single one is better than any other, although there are studies that suggest some types are better suited for certain jobs than others.

Many of my executive coaching clients tend to be ENTJs (Extraversion, Intuition, Thinking, Judging), a personality type that is quite common among leaders.

ENTJs make good leaders because of their innate ability to direct groups of people, according to Isabel Briggs Myers and Peter B. Myers, authors of “Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type.” They tend to be self-driven, motivated, energetic, assertive, confident, and competitive. ENTJs are unusually influential and organized, yet they may judge others by their own tough standards.

Famous ENTJs include Aristotle, Napoleon, Julius Caesar, Margaret Thatcher, Jack Welch, and Bill Gates. ENTJs are also the most rare of the 16 MBTI types representing just 2% to 5% of males and 1% to 3% of females in the U.S.

A study called “Personality Type in Leadership” by the Center of Creative Leadership found that although the extraversion/introversion and sensing/intuition preference pairs were equally represented, preferences for thinking and judging were more predominant in leaders. This does not necessarily mean that feeling and perceiving are not valuable traits in leaders. However, the structure and values of most organizations today tend to favor logical and decisive behaviors.

ENTJs are primarily concerned with making things happen and may not fully appreciate that other people may take a little longer to understand or may not be as forthcoming or direct and assume that silence means agreement.

ENTJ leaders don’t generally understand emotions, preferring to deal with issues as problems or concepts. Therefore, trying to appeal to the ENTJs’ emotional side may not be the best way to resolve issues.

Feeling

There are important differences between the categories of thinking and feeling, and ENTJs would do well to keep these in mind to improve relationships with those who are more aligned with feeling.  For example, those who prefer feeling versus thinking tend to be:

  • Sympathetic, instead of focused  on logic
  • More interested in people than things
  • More people-oriented, responding more easily to people’s values
  • Able to recognize and acknowledge their own as well as others’ emotions and know that this is a strength, not a weakness

ENTJs are more likely to analyze and apply logic with interpersonal issues, which can annoy and puzzle those with a preference for feeling. No matter what the problem, ENTJs need to factor in the human element in decision-making. It’s important to seek opinions from those with other personality types before making a decision. And they should take note of their own needs and feelings.

While all this may slow down the decisiveness of an ENTJ, it will serve them well in the long term.

Perceiving

Although those who prefer judging may view perceiving as aimless, they need to understand that perceiving simply means someone wants more information before making a decision. In addition:

  • Judgment occurs out loud,  while perceiving happens within
  • Perceiving can lead to decision-making, but the focus is on gathering information to keep options open
  • Perceiving includes seeing structure as more limiting than enabling
  • Perceiving is more tolerant of other people’s differences and supports adapting to whatever the situation requires

ENTJs must develop their perceptive ability and suspend judgment just long enough to give perception a chance. They must continue to use judging on themselves but not on other people. If ENTJs let preferences for thinking and judging dominate every aspect of their lives, their feelings will be too suppressed to be of any use.

If an unexpected explosion of temper shows up, there’s a good possibility that the ENTJ needs to allow space for feeling now and again. This will provide a constructive outlet before reaching the boiling point.

Although ENTJ leaders are quite common, they can increase their effectiveness by recognizing  the importance of feeling and perceiving both in themselves and others in the workplace. A preference should be only that, and finding a balance within oneself will help ENTJs leaders grow even stronger. Appreciating the preferences of others for feeling and perceiving will also help them find value in those who possess these gifts.

If you’re interested in learning more about leadership psychology, Saybrook offers an M.A. in Psychology program that specializes in creativity, innovation, and leadership. If you’re interested in becoming a leader yourself, the Saybrook Leadership and Management online Ph.D. in Managing Organizational Systems is a great option.

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Embodied racism

3 April 2014
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I first heard this stated when I was struggling with the realization that someone very important to me was having a difficult time accepting that I was engaged to a black woman. As I was talking about how painful it was for me that this person, who I knew was a good person with strong character, could not seem to get past their prejudice, it was gently pointed out to me that, “Racism is located in your body. If it was just in one’s mind, it would be easy to overcome and change. But it is not easy because racism is in our body.”

I was trying to change my friend’s mind through logical arguments, along with some attempts to motivate the change by pointing out that he was hurting the woman I loved through his prejudices. My approach was not effective. Although my fiancée (now my wife) also advised, “Just let him get to know me. Once he gets to know me, he’ll get over it,” it was not until this insight that racism is in the body set in that I began to accept that I could not change my friend through logical argument. As I let this go and trusted the relational process (primarily the relationship between him and my fiancée), he was able to gradually work through most of his prejudices.

Racists are not necessarily bad people

We often want to categorize racists as bad people. However, there are several problems with this. For one, to label people “good” or “bad” is an oversimplification. No one is all good or all bad. Second, I would affirm the common assertion that everyone has prejudices, and we all are racists to some degree. But these are more philosophical suppositions that could take us away from the point I would like to make.

Many intelligent people with strong character, good intentions, and solid morals struggle with racism and other forms of prejudice. If racism were simple enough that we could rationally disprove it, and through this process, end racism, the destructiveness of racism would be much more contained. If all good people, and all people who would like to have no racism, could easily overcome it, there would be much less racism in the world. The problem lies deeper; it is in our bodies.

Recommended read: “Marginalization: The pendulum swings both ways”

How does racism get in the body? One way that racism gets in our body is through experience. This can be role modeling as well as direct experience.

For instance, children are often exposed to racism. Regardless of whether this is through word or action, it can begin to become internalized through this modeling. Second, it can occur through a bad experience with individuals or small groups from different cultures, which then gets generalized to all people from the culture.

Many would argue that the roots of racism are encoded in our genes. It is not that there is a racist gene in our DNA, but rather a tendency to identify with one’s own group for safety reasons while being distrustful or suspicious of those identified as other.

Terror Management Theory, which is an existential social psychology based upon the work of Ernest Becker, maintains that particularly when we are reminded of our mortality we tend to identify more closely with our own group and often against other groups.

Empathy for racists

I consider myself to be a highly empathetic person. Yet, it is difficult for me to be empathetic with racists, in part because I generally don’t want to be empathetic with them. However, especially for those who would like to overcome their racism, empathy is a powerful tool for change. Empathy takes us beyond the surface level. One of the reasons that empathy is effective in bringing about change is precisely because it takes us beyond the rational; it takes us to the embodiment of the struggle.

Empathy is also effective at disarming defenses. When someone voices, “I know I am prejudiced toward black people, but I don’t want to be,” and are met with empathy, this allows them to explore this and begin a healing process. When they are met with condemnation and judgment, or pushing them to quickly overcome these struggles, they often put defenses up to emotionally protect themselves from the perceived attack. In protecting themselves, they also protect their racism, even if inadvertently so.

I am not suggesting that there is not a place for the rational or impassioned arguments in the struggle to overcome racism. Nor am I suggesting that we should be soft on people who do hurtful things—intentionally or unintentionally—because of their prejudices. Quite the contrary; I believe it is necessary at times to be confrontational and speak from our righteous indignation. Yet, while the confrontation may help someone recognize the need to change, rarely is it successful in helping implement the change. Confrontation must be followed by empathy, and it is the empathy that generally empowers the change. For advocates and activists, the shift from confrontation to empathy is difficult, but an important part of the art of promoting social change.

Conclusion

Racism is complex. This is a primary reason why racism continues to thrive even though it is no longer considered socially acceptable.

Because racism is complex, any attempt to counter or overcome racism requires something more than simple or superficial solutions; it even requires something more than sophisticated logical arguments. Like most forms of deeper change, overcoming racism requires relationships. The relationships required to overcome racism are, in many ways, risky relationships. It is hard to open oneself up to someone who demonstrates racism. Yet, without compassion, concern, and empathy for racists, we will never succeed in the goal of eradicating racism.

Are you a Saybrook University alumna or faculty member who is interested in submitting a blog post for potential publication on UNBOUND? You may do so by submitting your finished piece or pitch on the right-hand side panel of UNBOUND pages. 

My perspective on leadership

9 February 2014
T12 Titans
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There are numerous definitions of leadership, and many books continue to be written on this important subject. In my own experience, leadership starts with awakening my being to do service in the world by using my innate gifts and talents. It is about alignment with my truth and soul purpose, and leaving a legacy by making a difference in the lives of others.

A demonstration of my leadership role is following my calling to be a messenger of peace in my war-torn country and troubled Middle East region. In fact, I recently launched a Facebook page to share my poetry on peace. In a future post, I will share my reflections on how and why I became a messenger of peace and transformation. For the purpose of this post, however, I share below perspectives on my leadership style and skills at work.

Leadership example at work

My 16-plus years’ work experience in engineering design of mechanical systems for multimillion dollar and light industrial projects in a multinational consultant firm has brought with it a multitude of experiences and allowed me to progress from the position of a fresh graduate in mechanical engineering to a company group leader in computer fluid dynamics simulations (CFD), sustainable studies, and energy modeling for LEED certification.

Being motivated to promote green building design strategies that benefit our society, my role as a sustainable energy consultant and energy modeler began in 2009 with a unique and transformative experience that resulted in the Leadership in Energy & Environmental Design (LEED) certification of a mega project in Saudi Arabia. In fact, I formed and led the team that was responsible for the energy models for Princess Nora University, a 2.8 million square meter fully developed campus that is the largest higher education facility in the world.

Actually, I was the first in my company to assume a leading position in promoting sustainable design and LEED certification of projects. In addition, I established a new sustainable design unit with the purpose of supporting design teams in integrating sustainable design practices in the company’s projects as well as facilitating LEED certification.

In addition to my team’s success in meeting all expectations and supporting the various design teams in meeting the sustainability goals and project energy conservation measures, the following achievements are noted:

  • Building two teams, one in Lebanon and the other in India, comprising 12 engineers whom I trained and supported in getting LEED accredited.
  • Spreading awareness throughout the company on the principles of designing for sustainability by leading by example and offering several presentations on the subject.
  • Training engineers on the Integrated Environmental Solutions Program, a state-of-the-art energy modeling software.
  • Preparing design manuals and procedures to support design teams in integrating sustainability principles in design process.

Reflecting on the experience

Meeting the task of forming a team to handle a complex and fast track project without prior experience in LEED certification and energy modeling was quite challenging. I was aware that I had to exercise various roles and even tap into my untapped potential to lead the project to success. Among the main leadership roles that I exhibited included training, serving, visioning, planning, collaborating, coaching, storytelling, and leading by example.

My first step was to become a LEED-accredited professional and train my team to become accredited too. This was essential to do the job effectively and show credibility to the various project participants as well as to the client. In addition, I had to teach myself the principles of energy modeling and how to use specialized software to accomplish this task. For this purpose, I convinced my boss to have the team registered for online professional courses and training workshops that were essential to acquiring the knowledge and specialized skills.

Being aware of the time constraints and the stressful work environment, I used a collaborative learning style to disseminate and integrate the knowledge. Every team member was responsible to learn some methods, and then exchange the knowledge through weekly meetings and daily communication.

It was important for me to set the vision of where we expected to go and to focus on the value of what we are intended to do. The perspective that I shared with the team was that we were the seed of a sustainable design initiative in the company. Thus, I prepared them to eventually be leaders in environmental sustainability.

Collaboration and nurturing relationships between the team and other designers was crucial. I stressed the importance of communication and shared freely all project information. This was a bit risky, but I knew that this would empower the team to own the job, grow, and appreciate the learning process. More important still, I supported joint decisions, brainstorming sessions, and even planned work breakdown steps with the team.

Another key that supported employee engagement was visible in showing dedication to the team and portraying servant leadership. In fact, I requested that the team members write their individual goals and promised to support them in achieving all of what they had written. Some successful endeavors to sustain career growth were to send team members to professional workshops, take online courses, and get valuable certificates.

I led by example and modeled what I believe leadership entails. This, I believe, had the biggest impact; the feedback that I received from my team was that they learned so much from me and in a very short time.

In addition to exemplifying a compassionate leadership style, I worked hard to convince management to acknowledge my team’s exceptional hard work by offering grade promotions, bonuses, and salary increases. Simultaneously, I acknowledged their achievement by writing notes on beautiful cards, giving out gifts, and frequently inviting them for breakfast.

My coaching skills were quite effective in building my team and nurturing their growth. In additional to goal setting, listening to their needs, and sustaining a nurturing environment, I enjoyed telling true stories in meetings to communicate important values and principles. I also worked on keeping their morale high and sent an inspirational quote every morning to begin their day.

It was also important to keep track of progress and resolve problems while co-creating effective strategies to get us around tough deadlines and unrealistic expectations. Sharing our problems and successes strengthened our bonds and resulted in a significant amount of synergy and creativity.

Since I did not have substantial influence other than being a group leader, my power came from building trust and nurturing relationships. I always worked to give my team members my best effort, which included supporting them in realizing their potential and bringing it out. My compassion and caring had the biggest impact, and I was always attending to their needs.

My perspective on my role as a team leader for this task was clearly to integrate sustainability practices into design and establish a specialized unit to support this endeavor. Toward this end, I worked hard on several fronts spreading awareness within the company by giving presentations, coordinating with other design teams to adopt new ways of thinking, and establishing software tools to handle complex calculations efficiently. Thus, my ultimate role was that of a change agent and transformative leader empowered by a long-term vision to integrate sustainability with current design practice and to empower others to be leaders in this field.

Although this task was a major undertaking, my confidence, character, and excellent repertoire of skills guided me through. In addition, being a certified life coach and a lifelong learner with previous exposure to self-development tools were a great source of support. More important still, my ability to form relationships with followers, connect from the heart, build trust, and stimulate growth were fundamental in overcoming challenges, which led to success in this process.

Leadership skills

The primary values that were a cornerstone of this leadership experience and that I integrated in my behavior and actions included openness, critical thinking skills, endurance, confidence, vision, and mindfulness, as well as authenticity, integrity, passion, leading by example, and effective listening. Below is a brief discussion on my leadership skills that were fundamental to the team’s success.

  • Openness and awareness of a changing environment: This was the stimulus to accept the challenge of working to bring sustainable design to the company and the congruent benefits for the society and the environment.
  • Critical thinking skills and perseverance: Bringing change always creates resistance as was the case of embracing sustainable design initiatives. This was made easier through understanding the concerns of the various teams, overcoming difficulties, respecting contrasting approaches, and working for a solution that meets the essential needs of the project stakeholders.
  • Endurance: Although things did not work out the way I wanted them to unfold, I persevered so as not to compromise any issue that was fundamental to the project’s success. In fact, I recall having several meetings with my managers to convince them that they apply some energy conservation technologies that were essential for the stipulated project energy savings.
  • Confidence, patience and courage: These were the qualities I showed up with every day to fuel commitment, keep my team’s morale high, and affirm our success.
  • Mindfulness and self-awareness: It was important for me to reflect on what was going on with objectivity and critical thinking. This helped in seeing a clear picture of reality.
  • Strong people skills such as listening: Being a life coach, it was easy for me to connect with others, nurture relationships, and use the art of effective listening to grow and build others.
  • Ability to keep going despite conflict: Many times I had to deal with conflict due to the resistance of engineers to accept the necessary changes to the classical design approach. I embraced this challenge, and persisted in focusing on the purpose and value of what we were doing.
  • Vision: I made it clear to the team that our task was not just to contribute to the success of the project, but more important still, to plant the seed of sustainable spirit within the company. Our triad of cost, quality, and time changed and quadrupled to include sustainability.
  • Equity: It was important for me to act as equal to my other team members. In fact, in one of our training sessions, the instructor could not identify me because I was always acting as if I was another member of the team. In addition, it was important for me to distribute rewards fairly, based on achievement and value rather than on seniority.

Reflecting on this experience, I can see that my style was quite similar to servant and transformative leadership. In fact, I exhibited strong emotional concern for my team members as well as initiated a transformative perspective for my followers and the manner in which work was being done. For that, I relied on participation, collaboration, and synergy. More important still, by focusing and communicating meaningful purpose and values while embracing uncertainty, and building on a spirit of unity and trust, I succeeded in my role as a change agent and in bringing new organizational capabilities.

Conclusion

I am proud of having succeeded in leading sustainability at my company by using simple humanistic principles combined with common sense. Furthermore, it was quite rewarding to witness my potential of acting as a change agent and integrating sustainability in the design process.

I realize that sustainability should not be seen from the design viewpoint only, but also, it should be viewed from a holistic perspective, including organizational systems. This is one of the reasons that I chose to study organizational systems in a humanistic institution such as Saybrook University.

We need to talk about Kevin and his mother

26 December 2013
T12 Titans
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“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”
(- Jean-Paul Sartre in “Existentialism and Human Emotion“)

Or, is he? And what about his mother?

A few nights ago, I watched the 2011 movie “We need to talk about Kevin”. Since then I’ve been saying, “Oh yes, we do.” (Warning: A lot of spoilers will follow.)

This movie left me with a feeling so weird I didn’t even have the words to describe. I was really in a state of shock and sadness. I also felt the need to discuss it with someone, but unfortunately for me, I watched the movie alone. So, later the same night, I searched online for almost everything there has been said about Kevin (played by Ezra Miller). And there has been a lot said.

The movie is based on a book by Lionel Shriver. She has always been ambivalent about the idea of having children. She started to write the book, with exactly that thought on her mind. This isn’t a movie about a mass shooting. This is a movie about a mother who isn’t sure if she wants a child, and later, when she gives birth (to Kevin), we get a look at how their relationship is. And it is really hard.

I have always believed that nobody is born either good or bad. I’m not even that sure there’s a clear line between the two most of the time. A mass school shooting, though, is, definitely, bad (yes, there are some clear lines, after all). This movie evokes that eternal question: What matters more in the shaping of a man? Nature or upbringing? Was Kevin born bad or made bad? Is it genetics, or the environment in which we are brought up that affects us the most?

I found myself feeling sorry for Eva (played by Tilda Swinton), and at the same time, sorry for that kid. It took me a great deal of time to see that Eva wasn’t as angelic as I first thought. Nobody is. But she took me somehow on her side. I couldn’t blame her, you know. She did everything she could—the child just hated her. But can a child really hate his mother all by himself?

There has been some research proposing that there are hints that a child might be psychopathic, from the age of 5. There has also been research indicating there is something biologically wrong with people showing these kinds of behaviors. Can we really call a little child a psychopath (or anyone for that matter)? Jennifer Kahn asks that same question in this article, where she interviewed a real family resembling Kevin’s family a little too much.

She also referred to much of this current research going on and mentioned Donald Lynam, a psychologist, who believes we should wonder how it is that more people don’t do bad things. Biology is what inhibits us, he said. He also said it’s tricky to call people psychopathic because although people treat them as “lost cases,” biology shouldn’t be taken as destiny. There is also another study mentioned, which suggests that if all this is genetic, there’s probably a parent with a cold behavior toward his or her child, so he or she doesn’t really bond with the child. There are a lot of a self-fulfilling prophecy behaviors going on.

Reading this scares me. Diagnoses, labels, and in the end, helpless parents who don’t know what to do with their kids—helpless kids who can’t do a thing with their parents.

What would I do if I was in Eva’s place? That’s another question that stressed me. Is this all just bad luck? And then I wondered, could we all be in that place? Or, if she had done something different, things would have gone another way? The movie makes you believe Kevin could be the same kid playing in “The Omen,” but are there really diabolical children out there?

In my private practice, I have had some clients who needed to set some limits with their children. What if Eva had come to my office? What if she wanted to set some limits with Kevin? Could we make it happen? Would therapy work for them? I’ll probably never know. Eva didn’t seek therapy after all. This was something that really startled me. How could she not go to therapy? Is it just me that thought that therapy would have been an obvious choice?

Kevin feels that his mother never liked him, and he still believes this, even when he’s 16 years old. Eva feels that Kevin never liked her. How is it for a mother to feel that her own kid hates her? How is it for a kid to live with a mother who seems cold and unloving? How could Eva and Kevin ever reconcile? Could they, really?

Eva visits her son in prison, even though I thought she must have hated him by now. I mean the boy killed his father and sister and also a dozen kids at school. But Eva still visits him. Is there really a choice when you’re a mother? Can you un-love your child? That’s how I felt, like she’s been condemned to visit her son, to love him, even though he killed the rest of their family. But then I remembered I wasn’t even sure that she loved him in the first place. And that hit me like a great paradoxical stereotype of mine. Every mother loves her child, right? There’s no choice in motherly love, correct? But is that a bit off from the truth we experience every day?

Eva asks Kevin the big “why” at the end of the movie. The answer is not going to give you closure, but somehow, it did for them.

We all need reasons. We ask why something happened because we want a reason to be there. We can’t stand that sometimes there’s not a good enough reason; things are just like this. Friedrich Nietzsche said, “He who has a why to live, can bear any how.” Maybe if Eva had been told that there was something mentally different about her son, she could have more easily borne all this catastrophe. But no, Eva had to find a way to love, to connect with her kid, even if there may have seemed to be something alarming about him. Or, the alarm was with her. There had not been a diagnosis or a sufficient reason for anything, but still, they hug at the end. And it is moments like this which remind us how much support we need, and often, how much of a closure, rather than diagnostic labels.

Dimitra Athanasakou is a licensed psychologist and existential psychotherapist practicing in Athens, Greece.

Existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism

23 October 2013
T12 Titans
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Recently I returned from a trip to China where I was asked to speak at a conference entitled “Buddha from the Heart: Humanistic Psychology Maitreya Culture.” Maitreya Buddhism is a lesser-known school of Buddhist thought originating in China, particularly connected with Maitreya Buddha (i.e., future Buddha). The focus of the conference was on the ways in which humanistic psychology and Buddhism, particularly Maitreya Buddhism, can help the people of China. It was an exciting opportunity to dialogue about convergences between existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism, particularly related to how they each can positively impact the world.

Context: Religion and psychology

It is important to discuss this with a disclaimer. Neither the conference nor this blog are suggesting that existential-humanistic psychology is a Buddhist psychology. When talking about religions and psychology, it is important that we do not reduce one to the other. Also, while there may be a place for religious psychologies, I believe that it is vitally important that existential and humanistic psychology remain unattached to religion at the foundational level in order to work with clients from their own religious or spiritual framework instead of imposing our own.

At the same time, it is interesting that existential-humanistic psychology often appears to share a great deal with the spiritual and religious wisdom traditions. With Buddhism, there certainly are a number of interesting convergences.

Convergences on suffering

One important convergence is on suffering. Buddhism and existential-humanistic psychology view suffering as a given, not something that can easily be overcome or just coped with. Additionally, both recognize the value in suffering as well as other emotions that are uncomfortable. From Buddhist and existential-humanistic perspectives, our uncomfortable emotions and suffering are something for us to explore and learn from. There are even similarities in how individuals can learn from these emotions. It is important, however, not to reduce this into thinking that existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism approach suffering the same way or are in complete agreement.

Within Buddhism, there is a spiritual end where the eventual goal is to escape the cycle of suffering. However, this is something that one strives for over a lifetime or many lifetimes. In existential-humanistic psychology, the goal is to change one’s experience of suffering in order to transform the experience of suffering, increase one’s self-awareness, live more authentically in the face of suffering, and achieve personal growth.

Existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism both value the experiential realms. First, experience is understood as a valid way of knowing. In much of psychology, there is a strong rational bias and often a distrust of emotion and subjective experience. While existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism are not irrational or anti-intellectual, they recognize that there is more than one valid way of knowing. Additionally, the growth and healing process is often understood as experiential in both existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism. One limits their growth and healing if growth and health are confined to the cognitive level and do not incorporate an experiential component.

Values of mindful awareness

I have, at times, been frustrated with the mindfulness craze in psychology. It’s not that I do not value what it has to offer, but rather that I think it is a distortion to think of this as something new. Existential psychology and other depth psychologies long have advocated for approaches quite similar to mindfulness long before mindfulness entered the psychology lexicon. Additionally, I also am concerned that mindfulness, as it originated in Buddhism, is quite different than the mindfulness that is often integrated into psychology today, particularly in the West. Despite these challenges, both existential psychology and Buddhism believe there is a value in a nonjudgmental or inquisitive awareness of one’s cognitive, emotional, and bodily experiences.

Last, both Buddhism and existential-humanistic psychology are growth-oriented and recognize human potential. Although there are many variations across the different approaches to Buddhism, there is a rather consistent growth-oriented focus in which individuals, through self-development, attempt to continually grow and embrace their Buddha nature. Similarly, existential-humanistic psychology advocates toward helping individuals achieve their potential rather than focusing solely on overcoming problems.

While there is much to learn from being in dialogue, it is also important to take seriously the differences, particularly as both seek different ends. When only the convergences are considered, then distortion and a false agreement will ensue. Through dialogue, I am confident that both Buddhism and existential-humanistic psychology can grow and advance. For existential-humanistic psychology, in particular, I believe this can further advance the field’s emergent multicultural perspectives.

Are you a Saybrook University alumna or faculty member who is interested in submitting a blog post for potential publication on UNBOUND? You may do so by submitting your finished piece or pitch on the right-hand side panel of UNBOUND pages.