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The importance of gender equity

14 August 2014
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In my last blog “Strengthening our Social Fabric,” I mentioned Sweden’s emphasis on gender equity as a way to create a good society. Here I will further consider the systemic implications of gender equity in hopes that we consider its importance to all societies.

The Global Gender Gap report in 2013 rates 136 countries on their ability to close the gender gap thus attaining equity in four key areas: economic participation and opportunity, health and survival, educational attainment, and political empowerment. I wonder how many people in the U.S. would be surprised that we do not show up in the top 20 countries with greater gender equity. The U.S. rated 23rd on the list, down one from 2012. Sweden ranked number four on the list, following their Scandinavian neighbors, Norway (three) and Finland (two). Iceland claimed the number one spot.

Yet, even though Sweden is relatively high in their ranking on the global scale, they see gender equity as so important to their social fabric that the government believes they still have work to do.

The aim of Sweden’s gender equity policy is to ensure that:

  • Women and men enjoy the same opportunities, rights and obligations in all areas of life.
  • Everyone, regardless of gender, has the right to work and support themselves.
  • They can all balance their careers and family life.
  • They can live without the fear of abuse or violence.

Gender equality implies not only equal distribution between men and women in all domains of society. It is also about the qualitative aspects, ensuring that the knowledge and experience of both men and women are used to promote progress in all aspects of society.

What strikes me in the commitment statement is the holistic nature of it. It recognizes the importance of equal opportunity across gender, adding the critical aspect of women supporting themselves while balancing family and career. And it recognizes the importance of having women’s voices and perspectives present to promote healthy progress in all aspects of society.

At 64 years old, I have seen many changes in our society in the U.S., but not really much progression in the status of women as full contributors to our society. Women professors in higher education are far fewer than male professors. That is likely the result of the financial and time commitment to attain a doctoral degree and build a career in academia. We continue to have only a few women at the top of major corporations and positions who would likely state that they have to sacrifice the other aspects of their lives to succeed in their position. Look around the chambers of the U.S. government. Granted there are a few more women there today than when I studied government in high school in the late 1960s. But considering that was nearly 50 years ago, we can’t be proud of our progress.

I wonder how the U.S. might be different if our government were to establish a clear commitment to gender equity and policies that backed it up. What would the impact be on children and families? On our schools? What if there were more women at the top of organizations or in positions of influence in the government? I believe we need to create a pathway of equal opportunity for women to move into these positions at the same pace as men.

I think the problem here in the U.S. is that there is very little overall commitment to gender equity. Most people don’t see how important it is to create a healthy society. We need to change the conversation from women needing equal pay, which is just one of many important factors, to how we can create the institutional, economic, cultural, and other conditions so that women can equally contribute their knowledge, skills, and experience to creating a better society. If we can reach a point of common understanding where we truly believe that women have just as important a role to play in the development of our nation as do men, we will find the resources and put in place the policies that will support women in assuming their proper place as leaders of change.

Myers-Briggs® and Leadership: What Personality Types Support Good Leadership?

11 August 2014
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The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI) is often used to improve overall performance in organizations. This tool can help workers gain self-awareness, improve emotional intelligence, and better understand how they—as well as those around them—operate in the workplace.

Which MBTI Type Makes the Best Leader?

Of the 16 possible personality types identified by the MBTI instrument, no single one is better than any other, although there are studies that suggest some types are better suited for certain jobs than others.

Many of my executive coaching clients tend to be ENTJs (Extraversion, Intuition, Thinking, Judging), a personality type that is quite common among leaders.

ENTJs make good leaders because of their innate ability to direct groups of people, according to Isabel Briggs Myers and Peter B. Myers, authors of “Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type.” They tend to be self-driven, motivated, energetic, assertive, confident, and competitive. ENTJs are unusually influential and organized, yet they may judge others by their own tough standards.

Famous ENTJs include Aristotle, Napoleon, Julius Caesar, Margaret Thatcher, Jack Welch, and Bill Gates. ENTJs are also the most rare of the 16 MBTI types representing just 2% to 5% of males and 1% to 3% of females in the U.S.

A study called “Personality Type in Leadership” by the Center of Creative Leadership found that although the extraversion/introversion and sensing/intuition preference pairs were equally represented, preferences for thinking and judging were more predominant in leaders. This does not necessarily mean that feeling and perceiving are not valuable traits in leaders. However, the structure and values of most organizations today tend to favor logical and decisive behaviors.

ENTJs are primarily concerned with making things happen and may not fully appreciate that other people may take a little longer to understand or may not be as forthcoming or direct and assume that silence means agreement.

ENTJ leaders don’t generally understand emotions, preferring to deal with issues as problems or concepts. Therefore, trying to appeal to the ENTJs’ emotional side may not be the best way to resolve issues.

Feeling

There are important differences between the categories of thinking and feeling, and ENTJs would do well to keep these in mind to improve relationships with those who are more aligned with feeling.  For example, those who prefer feeling versus thinking tend to be:

  • Sympathetic, instead of focused  on logic
  • More interested in people than things
  • More people-oriented, responding more easily to people’s values
  • Able to recognize and acknowledge their own as well as others’ emotions and know that this is a strength, not a weakness

ENTJs are more likely to analyze and apply logic with interpersonal issues, which can annoy and puzzle those with a preference for feeling. No matter what the problem, ENTJs need to factor in the human element in decision-making. It’s important to seek opinions from those with other personality types before making a decision. And they should take note of their own needs and feelings.

While all this may slow down the decisiveness of an ENTJ, it will serve them well in the long term.

Perceiving

Although those who prefer judging may view perceiving as aimless, they need to understand that perceiving simply means someone wants more information before making a decision. In addition:

  • Judgment occurs out loud,  while perceiving happens within
  • Perceiving can lead to decision-making, but the focus is on gathering information to keep options open
  • Perceiving includes seeing structure as more limiting than enabling
  • Perceiving is more tolerant of other people’s differences and supports adapting to whatever the situation requires

ENTJs must develop their perceptive ability and suspend judgment just long enough to give perception a chance. They must continue to use judging on themselves but not on other people. If ENTJs let preferences for thinking and judging dominate every aspect of their lives, their feelings will be too suppressed to be of any use.

If an unexpected explosion of temper shows up, there’s a good possibility that the ENTJ needs to allow space for feeling now and again. This will provide a constructive outlet before reaching the boiling point.

Although ENTJ leaders are quite common, they can increase their effectiveness by recognizing  the importance of feeling and perceiving both in themselves and others in the workplace. A preference should be only that, and finding a balance within oneself will help ENTJs leaders grow even stronger. Appreciating the preferences of others for feeling and perceiving will also help them find value in those who possess these gifts.

If you’re interested in learning more about leadership psychology, Saybrook offers an M.A. in Psychology program that specializes in creativity, innovation, and leadership. If you’re interested in becoming a leader yourself, the Saybrook Leadership and Management online Ph.D. in Managing Organizational Systems is a great option.

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Embodied racism

3 April 2014
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I first heard this stated when I was struggling with the realization that someone very important to me was having a difficult time accepting that I was engaged to a black woman. As I was talking about how painful it was for me that this person, who I knew was a good person with strong character, could not seem to get past their prejudice, it was gently pointed out to me that, “Racism is located in your body. If it was just in one’s mind, it would be easy to overcome and change. But it is not easy because racism is in our body.”

I was trying to change my friend’s mind through logical arguments, along with some attempts to motivate the change by pointing out that he was hurting the woman I loved through his prejudices. My approach was not effective. Although my fiancée (now my wife) also advised, “Just let him get to know me. Once he gets to know me, he’ll get over it,” it was not until this insight that racism is in the body set in that I began to accept that I could not change my friend through logical argument. As I let this go and trusted the relational process (primarily the relationship between him and my fiancée), he was able to gradually work through most of his prejudices.

Racists are not necessarily bad people

We often want to categorize racists as bad people. However, there are several problems with this. For one, to label people “good” or “bad” is an oversimplification. No one is all good or all bad. Second, I would affirm the common assertion that everyone has prejudices, and we all are racists to some degree. But these are more philosophical suppositions that could take us away from the point I would like to make.

Many intelligent people with strong character, good intentions, and solid morals struggle with racism and other forms of prejudice. If racism were simple enough that we could rationally disprove it, and through this process, end racism, the destructiveness of racism would be much more contained. If all good people, and all people who would like to have no racism, could easily overcome it, there would be much less racism in the world. The problem lies deeper; it is in our bodies.

Recommended read: “Marginalization: The pendulum swings both ways”

How does racism get in the body? One way that racism gets in our body is through experience. This can be role modeling as well as direct experience.

For instance, children are often exposed to racism. Regardless of whether this is through word or action, it can begin to become internalized through this modeling. Second, it can occur through a bad experience with individuals or small groups from different cultures, which then gets generalized to all people from the culture.

Many would argue that the roots of racism are encoded in our genes. It is not that there is a racist gene in our DNA, but rather a tendency to identify with one’s own group for safety reasons while being distrustful or suspicious of those identified as other.

Terror Management Theory, which is an existential social psychology based upon the work of Ernest Becker, maintains that particularly when we are reminded of our mortality we tend to identify more closely with our own group and often against other groups.

Empathy for racists

I consider myself to be a highly empathetic person. Yet, it is difficult for me to be empathetic with racists, in part because I generally don’t want to be empathetic with them. However, especially for those who would like to overcome their racism, empathy is a powerful tool for change. Empathy takes us beyond the surface level. One of the reasons that empathy is effective in bringing about change is precisely because it takes us beyond the rational; it takes us to the embodiment of the struggle.

Empathy is also effective at disarming defenses. When someone voices, “I know I am prejudiced toward black people, but I don’t want to be,” and are met with empathy, this allows them to explore this and begin a healing process. When they are met with condemnation and judgment, or pushing them to quickly overcome these struggles, they often put defenses up to emotionally protect themselves from the perceived attack. In protecting themselves, they also protect their racism, even if inadvertently so.

I am not suggesting that there is not a place for the rational or impassioned arguments in the struggle to overcome racism. Nor am I suggesting that we should be soft on people who do hurtful things—intentionally or unintentionally—because of their prejudices. Quite the contrary; I believe it is necessary at times to be confrontational and speak from our righteous indignation. Yet, while the confrontation may help someone recognize the need to change, rarely is it successful in helping implement the change. Confrontation must be followed by empathy, and it is the empathy that generally empowers the change. For advocates and activists, the shift from confrontation to empathy is difficult, but an important part of the art of promoting social change.

Conclusion

Racism is complex. This is a primary reason why racism continues to thrive even though it is no longer considered socially acceptable.

Because racism is complex, any attempt to counter or overcome racism requires something more than simple or superficial solutions; it even requires something more than sophisticated logical arguments. Like most forms of deeper change, overcoming racism requires relationships. The relationships required to overcome racism are, in many ways, risky relationships. It is hard to open oneself up to someone who demonstrates racism. Yet, without compassion, concern, and empathy for racists, we will never succeed in the goal of eradicating racism.

Are you a Saybrook University alumna or faculty member who is interested in submitting a blog post for potential publication on UNBOUND? You may do so by submitting your finished piece or pitch on the right-hand side panel of UNBOUND pages. 

My perspective on leadership

9 February 2014
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There are numerous definitions of leadership, and many books continue to be written on this important subject. In my own experience, leadership starts with awakening my being to do service in the world by using my innate gifts and talents. It is about alignment with my truth and soul purpose, and leaving a legacy by making a difference in the lives of others.

A demonstration of my leadership role is following my calling to be a messenger of peace in my war-torn country and troubled Middle East region. In fact, I recently launched a Facebook page to share my poetry on peace. In a future post, I will share my reflections on how and why I became a messenger of peace and transformation. For the purpose of this post, however, I share below perspectives on my leadership style and skills at work.

Leadership example at work

My 16-plus years’ work experience in engineering design of mechanical systems for multimillion dollar and light industrial projects in a multinational consultant firm has brought with it a multitude of experiences and allowed me to progress from the position of a fresh graduate in mechanical engineering to a company group leader in computer fluid dynamics simulations (CFD), sustainable studies, and energy modeling for LEED certification.

Being motivated to promote green building design strategies that benefit our society, my role as a sustainable energy consultant and energy modeler began in 2009 with a unique and transformative experience that resulted in the Leadership in Energy & Environmental Design (LEED) certification of a mega project in Saudi Arabia. In fact, I formed and led the team that was responsible for the energy models for Princess Nora University, a 2.8 million square meter fully developed campus that is the largest higher education facility in the world.

Actually, I was the first in my company to assume a leading position in promoting sustainable design and LEED certification of projects. In addition, I established a new sustainable design unit with the purpose of supporting design teams in integrating sustainable design practices in the company’s projects as well as facilitating LEED certification.

In addition to my team’s success in meeting all expectations and supporting the various design teams in meeting the sustainability goals and project energy conservation measures, the following achievements are noted:

  • Building two teams, one in Lebanon and the other in India, comprising 12 engineers whom I trained and supported in getting LEED accredited.
  • Spreading awareness throughout the company on the principles of designing for sustainability by leading by example and offering several presentations on the subject.
  • Training engineers on the Integrated Environmental Solutions Program, a state-of-the-art energy modeling software.
  • Preparing design manuals and procedures to support design teams in integrating sustainability principles in design process.

Reflecting on the experience

Meeting the task of forming a team to handle a complex and fast track project without prior experience in LEED certification and energy modeling was quite challenging. I was aware that I had to exercise various roles and even tap into my untapped potential to lead the project to success. Among the main leadership roles that I exhibited included training, serving, visioning, planning, collaborating, coaching, storytelling, and leading by example.

My first step was to become a LEED-accredited professional and train my team to become accredited too. This was essential to do the job effectively and show credibility to the various project participants as well as to the client. In addition, I had to teach myself the principles of energy modeling and how to use specialized software to accomplish this task. For this purpose, I convinced my boss to have the team registered for online professional courses and training workshops that were essential to acquiring the knowledge and specialized skills.

Being aware of the time constraints and the stressful work environment, I used a collaborative learning style to disseminate and integrate the knowledge. Every team member was responsible to learn some methods, and then exchange the knowledge through weekly meetings and daily communication.

It was important for me to set the vision of where we expected to go and to focus on the value of what we are intended to do. The perspective that I shared with the team was that we were the seed of a sustainable design initiative in the company. Thus, I prepared them to eventually be leaders in environmental sustainability.

Collaboration and nurturing relationships between the team and other designers was crucial. I stressed the importance of communication and shared freely all project information. This was a bit risky, but I knew that this would empower the team to own the job, grow, and appreciate the learning process. More important still, I supported joint decisions, brainstorming sessions, and even planned work breakdown steps with the team.

Another key that supported employee engagement was visible in showing dedication to the team and portraying servant leadership. In fact, I requested that the team members write their individual goals and promised to support them in achieving all of what they had written. Some successful endeavors to sustain career growth were to send team members to professional workshops, take online courses, and get valuable certificates.

I led by example and modeled what I believe leadership entails. This, I believe, had the biggest impact; the feedback that I received from my team was that they learned so much from me and in a very short time.

In addition to exemplifying a compassionate leadership style, I worked hard to convince management to acknowledge my team’s exceptional hard work by offering grade promotions, bonuses, and salary increases. Simultaneously, I acknowledged their achievement by writing notes on beautiful cards, giving out gifts, and frequently inviting them for breakfast.

My coaching skills were quite effective in building my team and nurturing their growth. In additional to goal setting, listening to their needs, and sustaining a nurturing environment, I enjoyed telling true stories in meetings to communicate important values and principles. I also worked on keeping their morale high and sent an inspirational quote every morning to begin their day.

It was also important to keep track of progress and resolve problems while co-creating effective strategies to get us around tough deadlines and unrealistic expectations. Sharing our problems and successes strengthened our bonds and resulted in a significant amount of synergy and creativity.

Since I did not have substantial influence other than being a group leader, my power came from building trust and nurturing relationships. I always worked to give my team members my best effort, which included supporting them in realizing their potential and bringing it out. My compassion and caring had the biggest impact, and I was always attending to their needs.

My perspective on my role as a team leader for this task was clearly to integrate sustainability practices into design and establish a specialized unit to support this endeavor. Toward this end, I worked hard on several fronts spreading awareness within the company by giving presentations, coordinating with other design teams to adopt new ways of thinking, and establishing software tools to handle complex calculations efficiently. Thus, my ultimate role was that of a change agent and transformative leader empowered by a long-term vision to integrate sustainability with current design practice and to empower others to be leaders in this field.

Although this task was a major undertaking, my confidence, character, and excellent repertoire of skills guided me through. In addition, being a certified life coach and a lifelong learner with previous exposure to self-development tools were a great source of support. More important still, my ability to form relationships with followers, connect from the heart, build trust, and stimulate growth were fundamental in overcoming challenges, which led to success in this process.

Leadership skills

The primary values that were a cornerstone of this leadership experience and that I integrated in my behavior and actions included openness, critical thinking skills, endurance, confidence, vision, and mindfulness, as well as authenticity, integrity, passion, leading by example, and effective listening. Below is a brief discussion on my leadership skills that were fundamental to the team’s success.

  • Openness and awareness of a changing environment: This was the stimulus to accept the challenge of working to bring sustainable design to the company and the congruent benefits for the society and the environment.
  • Critical thinking skills and perseverance: Bringing change always creates resistance as was the case of embracing sustainable design initiatives. This was made easier through understanding the concerns of the various teams, overcoming difficulties, respecting contrasting approaches, and working for a solution that meets the essential needs of the project stakeholders.
  • Endurance: Although things did not work out the way I wanted them to unfold, I persevered so as not to compromise any issue that was fundamental to the project’s success. In fact, I recall having several meetings with my managers to convince them that they apply some energy conservation technologies that were essential for the stipulated project energy savings.
  • Confidence, patience and courage: These were the qualities I showed up with every day to fuel commitment, keep my team’s morale high, and affirm our success.
  • Mindfulness and self-awareness: It was important for me to reflect on what was going on with objectivity and critical thinking. This helped in seeing a clear picture of reality.
  • Strong people skills such as listening: Being a life coach, it was easy for me to connect with others, nurture relationships, and use the art of effective listening to grow and build others.
  • Ability to keep going despite conflict: Many times I had to deal with conflict due to the resistance of engineers to accept the necessary changes to the classical design approach. I embraced this challenge, and persisted in focusing on the purpose and value of what we were doing.
  • Vision: I made it clear to the team that our task was not just to contribute to the success of the project, but more important still, to plant the seed of sustainable spirit within the company. Our triad of cost, quality, and time changed and quadrupled to include sustainability.
  • Equity: It was important for me to act as equal to my other team members. In fact, in one of our training sessions, the instructor could not identify me because I was always acting as if I was another member of the team. In addition, it was important for me to distribute rewards fairly, based on achievement and value rather than on seniority.

Reflecting on this experience, I can see that my style was quite similar to servant and transformative leadership. In fact, I exhibited strong emotional concern for my team members as well as initiated a transformative perspective for my followers and the manner in which work was being done. For that, I relied on participation, collaboration, and synergy. More important still, by focusing and communicating meaningful purpose and values while embracing uncertainty, and building on a spirit of unity and trust, I succeeded in my role as a change agent and in bringing new organizational capabilities.

Conclusion

I am proud of having succeeded in leading sustainability at my company by using simple humanistic principles combined with common sense. Furthermore, it was quite rewarding to witness my potential of acting as a change agent and integrating sustainability in the design process.

I realize that sustainability should not be seen from the design viewpoint only, but also, it should be viewed from a holistic perspective, including organizational systems. This is one of the reasons that I chose to study organizational systems in a humanistic institution such as Saybrook University.

We need to talk about Kevin and his mother

26 December 2013
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“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”
(- Jean-Paul Sartre in “Existentialism and Human Emotion“)

Or, is he? And what about his mother?

A few nights ago, I watched the 2011 movie “We need to talk about Kevin”. Since then I’ve been saying, “Oh yes, we do.” (Warning: A lot of spoilers will follow.)

This movie left me with a feeling so weird I didn’t even have the words to describe. I was really in a state of shock and sadness. I also felt the need to discuss it with someone, but unfortunately for me, I watched the movie alone. So, later the same night, I searched online for almost everything there has been said about Kevin (played by Ezra Miller). And there has been a lot said.

The movie is based on a book by Lionel Shriver. She has always been ambivalent about the idea of having children. She started to write the book, with exactly that thought on her mind. This isn’t a movie about a mass shooting. This is a movie about a mother who isn’t sure if she wants a child, and later, when she gives birth (to Kevin), we get a look at how their relationship is. And it is really hard.

I have always believed that nobody is born either good or bad. I’m not even that sure there’s a clear line between the two most of the time. A mass school shooting, though, is, definitely, bad (yes, there are some clear lines, after all). This movie evokes that eternal question: What matters more in the shaping of a man? Nature or upbringing? Was Kevin born bad or made bad? Is it genetics, or the environment in which we are brought up that affects us the most?

I found myself feeling sorry for Eva (played by Tilda Swinton), and at the same time, sorry for that kid. It took me a great deal of time to see that Eva wasn’t as angelic as I first thought. Nobody is. But she took me somehow on her side. I couldn’t blame her, you know. She did everything she could—the child just hated her. But can a child really hate his mother all by himself?

There has been some research proposing that there are hints that a child might be psychopathic, from the age of 5. There has also been research indicating there is something biologically wrong with people showing these kinds of behaviors. Can we really call a little child a psychopath (or anyone for that matter)? Jennifer Kahn asks that same question in this article, where she interviewed a real family resembling Kevin’s family a little too much.

She also referred to much of this current research going on and mentioned Donald Lynam, a psychologist, who believes we should wonder how it is that more people don’t do bad things. Biology is what inhibits us, he said. He also said it’s tricky to call people psychopathic because although people treat them as “lost cases,” biology shouldn’t be taken as destiny. There is also another study mentioned, which suggests that if all this is genetic, there’s probably a parent with a cold behavior toward his or her child, so he or she doesn’t really bond with the child. There are a lot of a self-fulfilling prophecy behaviors going on.

Reading this scares me. Diagnoses, labels, and in the end, helpless parents who don’t know what to do with their kids—helpless kids who can’t do a thing with their parents.

What would I do if I was in Eva’s place? That’s another question that stressed me. Is this all just bad luck? And then I wondered, could we all be in that place? Or, if she had done something different, things would have gone another way? The movie makes you believe Kevin could be the same kid playing in “The Omen,” but are there really diabolical children out there?

In my private practice, I have had some clients who needed to set some limits with their children. What if Eva had come to my office? What if she wanted to set some limits with Kevin? Could we make it happen? Would therapy work for them? I’ll probably never know. Eva didn’t seek therapy after all. This was something that really startled me. How could she not go to therapy? Is it just me that thought that therapy would have been an obvious choice?

Kevin feels that his mother never liked him, and he still believes this, even when he’s 16 years old. Eva feels that Kevin never liked her. How is it for a mother to feel that her own kid hates her? How is it for a kid to live with a mother who seems cold and unloving? How could Eva and Kevin ever reconcile? Could they, really?

Eva visits her son in prison, even though I thought she must have hated him by now. I mean the boy killed his father and sister and also a dozen kids at school. But Eva still visits him. Is there really a choice when you’re a mother? Can you un-love your child? That’s how I felt, like she’s been condemned to visit her son, to love him, even though he killed the rest of their family. But then I remembered I wasn’t even sure that she loved him in the first place. And that hit me like a great paradoxical stereotype of mine. Every mother loves her child, right? There’s no choice in motherly love, correct? But is that a bit off from the truth we experience every day?

Eva asks Kevin the big “why” at the end of the movie. The answer is not going to give you closure, but somehow, it did for them.

We all need reasons. We ask why something happened because we want a reason to be there. We can’t stand that sometimes there’s not a good enough reason; things are just like this. Friedrich Nietzsche said, “He who has a why to live, can bear any how.” Maybe if Eva had been told that there was something mentally different about her son, she could have more easily borne all this catastrophe. But no, Eva had to find a way to love, to connect with her kid, even if there may have seemed to be something alarming about him. Or, the alarm was with her. There had not been a diagnosis or a sufficient reason for anything, but still, they hug at the end. And it is moments like this which remind us how much support we need, and often, how much of a closure, rather than diagnostic labels.

Dimitra Athanasakou is a licensed psychologist and existential psychotherapist practicing in Athens, Greece.

Existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism

23 October 2013
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Recently I returned from a trip to China where I was asked to speak at a conference entitled “Buddha from the Heart: Humanistic Psychology Maitreya Culture.” Maitreya Buddhism is a lesser-known school of Buddhist thought originating in China, particularly connected with Maitreya Buddha (i.e., future Buddha). The focus of the conference was on the ways in which humanistic psychology and Buddhism, particularly Maitreya Buddhism, can help the people of China. It was an exciting opportunity to dialogue about convergences between existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism, particularly related to how they each can positively impact the world.

Context: Religion and psychology

It is important to discuss this with a disclaimer. Neither the conference nor this blog are suggesting that existential-humanistic psychology is a Buddhist psychology. When talking about religions and psychology, it is important that we do not reduce one to the other. Also, while there may be a place for religious psychologies, I believe that it is vitally important that existential and humanistic psychology remain unattached to religion at the foundational level in order to work with clients from their own religious or spiritual framework instead of imposing our own.

At the same time, it is interesting that existential-humanistic psychology often appears to share a great deal with the spiritual and religious wisdom traditions. With Buddhism, there certainly are a number of interesting convergences.

Convergences on suffering

One important convergence is on suffering. Buddhism and existential-humanistic psychology view suffering as a given, not something that can easily be overcome or just coped with. Additionally, both recognize the value in suffering as well as other emotions that are uncomfortable. From Buddhist and existential-humanistic perspectives, our uncomfortable emotions and suffering are something for us to explore and learn from. There are even similarities in how individuals can learn from these emotions. It is important, however, not to reduce this into thinking that existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism approach suffering the same way or are in complete agreement.

Within Buddhism, there is a spiritual end where the eventual goal is to escape the cycle of suffering. However, this is something that one strives for over a lifetime or many lifetimes. In existential-humanistic psychology, the goal is to change one’s experience of suffering in order to transform the experience of suffering, increase one’s self-awareness, live more authentically in the face of suffering, and achieve personal growth.

Existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism both value the experiential realms. First, experience is understood as a valid way of knowing. In much of psychology, there is a strong rational bias and often a distrust of emotion and subjective experience. While existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism are not irrational or anti-intellectual, they recognize that there is more than one valid way of knowing. Additionally, the growth and healing process is often understood as experiential in both existential-humanistic psychology and Buddhism. One limits their growth and healing if growth and health are confined to the cognitive level and do not incorporate an experiential component.

Values of mindful awareness

I have, at times, been frustrated with the mindfulness craze in psychology. It’s not that I do not value what it has to offer, but rather that I think it is a distortion to think of this as something new. Existential psychology and other depth psychologies long have advocated for approaches quite similar to mindfulness long before mindfulness entered the psychology lexicon. Additionally, I also am concerned that mindfulness, as it originated in Buddhism, is quite different than the mindfulness that is often integrated into psychology today, particularly in the West. Despite these challenges, both existential psychology and Buddhism believe there is a value in a nonjudgmental or inquisitive awareness of one’s cognitive, emotional, and bodily experiences.

Last, both Buddhism and existential-humanistic psychology are growth-oriented and recognize human potential. Although there are many variations across the different approaches to Buddhism, there is a rather consistent growth-oriented focus in which individuals, through self-development, attempt to continually grow and embrace their Buddha nature. Similarly, existential-humanistic psychology advocates toward helping individuals achieve their potential rather than focusing solely on overcoming problems.

While there is much to learn from being in dialogue, it is also important to take seriously the differences, particularly as both seek different ends. When only the convergences are considered, then distortion and a false agreement will ensue. Through dialogue, I am confident that both Buddhism and existential-humanistic psychology can grow and advance. For existential-humanistic psychology, in particular, I believe this can further advance the field’s emergent multicultural perspectives.

Are you a Saybrook University alumna or faculty member who is interested in submitting a blog post for potential publication on UNBOUND? You may do so by submitting your finished piece or pitch on the right-hand side panel of UNBOUND pages. 

Reflections on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

8 October 2013
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One of the most recognizable legacies of the humanistic psychology tradition is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Ask any manager or HR professional and they know it. Like many legacy theories, people see it as self-evident and generally would say that they agree with it.

It is one of the most useful and well-known achievements in the field of humanistic psychology that have been adopted by management. Stated simply, Maslow suggested that human needs can be placed into a graded hierarchy. If people are not able to satisfy a “lower” need, they will remain at that level and not ascend to “higher” level needs. The implication is that a workplace has to make sure that employees are able to satisfy lower needs to allow them to satisfy the higher and presumably more meaningful ones.

The wise man Stephen Colbert has coined the word “truthiness” to refer to an idea that makes so much sense that it must be true, even though it isn’t. I want to suggest that there are some elements of truthiness in the Maslow’s view, and that, while some elements of this model are useful, its universal adoption represents a triumph of truthiness over careful reflection.

When we look more closely at the hierarchy, several aspects emerge. It is a model of a neat system where we have a need; then it is satisfied and sort of goes away as another pops up for our focus. People are nice, orderly beings with on-off switches when their needs are satisfied, in a uniform and easy way. The example everyone uses to show the reasonableness of the hierarchy is that of course people can’t think about higher needs if they are starving or fear for their lives.

But wait. Do we reach a point where we have enough appreciation or friendship that we are satisfied, and then the switch goes on for other activities? Are artists all deeply satisfied in their lives, reaching for higher levels of meaning and truth? What about the tortured artist who uses art to deal with pain and loss?

What has happened with this model, and many other models that are cleverly suggested by researchers, is that the train stops right there. Here is a model. Maslow was a brilliant person. Therefore we can accept it and use it. And for 50 years, we have used the model with very little consideration of what it means or whether or not it describes something that really reflects reality. We like it because it is “truthy,” not because it is true.

Maslow was one of my mentors. I attended one of his courses, and he was a masterful teacher and engaging us all in questioning. He would laugh knowing we were still using his theory rather than asking what we can learn from it, and what it can and cannot do. His view, like that of real generative thinkers, is that a theory is like a pointer, showing us some connections we can make and leading to further reflection.

Maslow was trying to understand that nature of motivation, and how and why people were not simply pleasure-seeking animals who were sent to please themselves and do what feels good. He was concerned that the concept of the person as just interested in him or herself did not make room for altruism, for personal growth, and for the most important human achievements. He wanted to look at what made people want to do things that engaged their deepest and highest level of potential. His theory was (for him) a stepping-stone to look at questions, as he does continually in his book of field notes, republished recently as “Maslow on Management.” He meant the hierarchy to pose questions, not answer them.

Some later theorists, like Arnold Mitchell who applied this theory to consumer behavior and marketing, added to the model. Mitchell amended it into two paths that met at the top (his model was called a “tulip”) and suggested that people could take outer-directed and inner-directed pathways up the hierarchy. He gathered data from detailed values and marketing surveys to profile preferences according to the level of need. What he found led him to adapt the hierarchy rather than just accept it.

He questioned the hierarchy and added to it, rather than keep trying to use it as it was. If we have any sort of model in social science, we can use it to guide our thinking, but we have to be careful to ask questions about it, gather data, grow, and develop the model to fit reality—not fit reality to the model.

Creation through destruction: Embracing our identities as creative destroyers

7 August 2013
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Every act of creation is also an act of destruction. The creation of something new and different, something that has not yet been, demands the destruction of the old and the typical, what is now and what has come before. The presence of destruction is at the core of the creative process itself.

Our most serious difficulties with being creative as human beings are not a result of deficiencies in imagination nor are they principally due to apathy or indifference. While these are often central factors, the ultimate problem lies elsewhere—we don’t want to destroy, we don’t want to participate in destruction. Because we will not destroy, we are unable to create. Because we are unwilling to become destroyers, we cannot become creators. One could in fact say that we don’t dare to imagine new possibilities and realities as doing so inherently destroys our cherished but limiting actualities and current modes of being. Apathy and indifference may just be an insidiously clever disguise to escape the call to create through destroying.

Now, to be clear, in speaking of “destruction” in this way, I of course do not mean destructive acts that result in harm toward self or others, emotionally/physically damaging behavior, violence, etc. There is no argument here to justify such manifestations of destruction, which are certainly not creative, at least not in any positive or healthy sense. However, while there is tragically an excess of destructive incidents that are opposed and antithetical to the process of constructive creation, our experience of our existence as human beings provides a compelling argument for the dynamic of destruction at the heart of creation.

Consider the creative movement of the will in the processes of choosing, deciding, valuing, and believing. Every choice for something is a choice against something else, and every decision for a particular direction or path in life is a decision not to explore other directions or take other paths. Actively identifying with certain values means not identifying with other values, and maintaining certain beliefs means that other beliefs must be sacrificed, according to Rollo May’s “The Courage to Create.”

The mere acts of willing and choosing, which are so essentially characteristic of our human existence, imply a simultaneous affirmation and negation. Therefore, every affirmation is a hidden negation, and every negation is a hidden affirmation. We want to affirm but find that to do so, we must also negate. We cannot affirm without negating, and at the core of affirmation lies the dynamic of negation. In simpler terms, we cannot say “yes” without also saying “no.” We cannot say “no” without also saying “yes.” As we affirm through negating, we create through destroying.

The essence of our difficulties with creativity, though, must surely extend beyond a merely academic or intellectual misunderstanding of the nature of the creative process or resistance to participating in the destructive dynamic. Indeed, it seems that these difficulties are most deeply rooted within our identities as human beings. In creating, I am doing more than merely performing a creative action.

Even more than intentionally engaging in a creative process, I am a person who is creating—I become a creator. In destroying, I am doing much more than merely exhibiting a destructive behavior or actively participating in a destructive process. I am a person who is destroying—I become a destroyer. While assuming the identity of a creator can be anxiety-provoking and frightening, I believe that at a core level of our humanity we all desire and yearn to be creators, to be people who from out of their creative depths bring forth new and original ideas, possibilities, visions, material and technological inventions, and art forms.

However, the identity of the destroyer terrifies and repulses us. We can’t bear to be and see ourselves as the destroyers of ideals and beliefs, values and dreams, structures and forms, complacencies, and false comforts. Even if we understand and acknowledge that such things need to be destroyed in order to create something higher or better, we often would rather someone else be responsible for their destruction because we do not want to be the destroyers.

The nature of our existence as human beings demands that we accept and meaningfully integrate a dual, dynamic identity that is constituted by images of both the creator and the destroyer. As Friedrich Nietzsche states in “Thus Spoke Zarathustra,” “And, whoever must be a creator in good and evil, verily, he must first be an annihilator and break values. Thus the highest evil belongs to the highest goodness: but this is creative.”

Perhaps what we most need in helping us to embrace the dual identity of our nature is a deep and constant awareness of the critically vital “why” underlying the destructive dynamic within the creative process and the inseparable union of creator and destroyer. We destroy in order to create; we become destroyers so that we can ultimately become creators. We don’t destroy for the mere sake of destruction itself and we must not remain destroyers only. Our responsibility is to participate in destruction that leads to productive creation, not that merely perpetuates further destruction. We will likely be better able to integrate the destroyer aspect of our identity if we can see ourselves as “creative destroyers,” those who destroy in the service of creation. In the end, this may be the secret key to unlocking and releasing the floodgates of our creative potential for growth and constructive transformation.

Charles Cannady, Professor of Psychology, has passed away

10 June 2013
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Charles Cannady

Saybrook University is sad to report the passing of faculty member Charles Cannady, PhD.
He died peacefully Friday morning, surrounded by family and friends, of complications from a long fight with cancer.

A gifted scholar who worked across several schools at Saybrook, Charles was a founding faculty member of our MFT program, a recognized international expert on Sandtray Therapy, and a dedicated healer He worked with youth in crisis, families in need, and men’s groups – particularly for those with anger management issues. He made a difference in many lives.

“The quality and dedication of Charles’ work and relationships is, perhaps, best exemplified by the long term work he had been doing with the Academy of Counselors Japan,” said Saybrook Provost Dan Sewell. “The Academy sent a group of counselors to our offices in San Francisco every year for a five day workshop. Charles started working with this group in 2007; and, his work with them on Sandtray Therapy was considered a highlight of the workshop. This past year, as I awarded certificates to the students, their expressions of gratitude for the workshop and for Charles’ work was astounding.”

An ordained minister with a Master’s Degree in Theology, specializing in Clinical Pastoral Education, from the San Francisco Theological Seminary, Charles was the former President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers in California, and (in addition to his work here) a member of the faculty at Merritt College in Oakland. He earned his PhD in Clinical Psychology from The Wright Institute.

We will miss his expertise greatly, and his presence even more.

A memorial service will be held at 1 p.m. on Wednesday, June 19, at Clinton Avenue Baptist Church, 3017 Clinton Ave., Richmond, CA 94804-1499,

We hope you will use this “virtual memorial” to Charles to share memories, best wishes, and support with the rest of the Saybrook community.


Comments

What I remember most vividly about Dr. Cannady was the Experiential he facilitated for Semester I students. His gift in that setting was imparting to me the ability to trust my intuitive hunches about the therapy mock-ups we role played. That, to me, is the humanistic educational process in a nutshell. I’m very sad to hear of Charles’ passing and send condolences to his family.

Posted by Michael McCarthy (not verified) | 06/10/2013 @ 12:35 PM
It was a blessing to know Charles. I will miss his warmth and enthusiasm for life.

Posted by Kathia Laszlo (not verified) | 06/10/2013 @ 01:27 PM
Although I was not in his program I did sneak up one time and Charles was open enough to allow me a tour of his sand trays. What he was able to teach me in just a few minutes will always stay with me. I know he was a gifted healer and he will be missed.

Posted by Anne Vanderlaan (not verified) | 06/10/2013 @ 01:38 PM
Charles was a singer. Opera, I believe. My dream is shattered. It was to ask Dr. Cannady to sing some opera or sacred music with me at my graduation, which has been slow in coming. He was my adviser for many years and I felt very comfortable and supported by him. I am also a play therapist so as regards the singing and the sand tray work we were well suited. He took pains to put me in contact with a Californian who could supply me with just the right sand-trays to take back to my homeland. Even though he’s no longer my adviser, as I’m now working on my dissertation, I will greatly miss him. I found him a kind and loving “gentle”man and our advisory meetings were always fun. I am so sorry to hear of his illness and his passing and send my condolences to his family. He was a wonderful, blessed man, and I will always remember and be thankful that he was the one who welcomed me and made me feel “at home” in Saybrook. I’m sure he touched a lot of lives positively, including mine. Thank you so much Charles.
Val Kendall

Posted by Val Kendall (not verified) | 06/10/2013 @ 03:21 PM
Charles was always wonderfully gentle, sweet and kind, and devoted on a very deep, personal level to his students. How he was who he was is one of his most meaningful lessons to all of us.

Posted by Joel Federman (not verified) | 06/10/2013 @ 06:44 PM
I worked with Charles for many years as an adviser. His love and presence were always so genuine and warm. He will be missed by many, of this I am sure. Love you Charles.

Posted by Joshua Schwartz (not verified) | 06/10/2013 @ 10:02 PM
Charles was a legend at Saybrook with those of us who gleaned play therapy and sandplay skills. He was a force of peace in the Bay Area and his gifts will continue to ripple across the globe as we carry on in his name. My sentiments to his family and advisees.E

Posted by JoAnne MacTaggart (not verified) | 06/10/2013 @ 10:48 PM
Chalres leaves us in the quiet, warm and gentle manners in which he conducted his life. As a colleague and friend he was always very supportive, instructive and helpful with the pragmatics of the professional practice of psychology and higher education. It turns out that he had cousin I had known as a graduate student at New York University. Lydia was a principal ballerina with the Dance Theatre of Harlem, lovely, and a cousin to Charles. After a few years of knowing and working with Charles, he came to lunch at my art studio. As I was showing him some paintings and photographs I had taken while living in New York, he saw Lydia’s picture and shrieked in excitement that she was his cousin. I told him the story of our friendship in New York, how I met her, and how she agreed to be a model for the photographs. I asked about her. He was so delighted by the synchronicity, the photographs and the story that I could not resist giving one to him. I was in fact grateful to Charles for explaining how Saybrook and the community college system actually worked. He was always very agreeable and never let on that he was so gravely ill. The world is a sadder place without him. I will miss his smile, his laughter, reassurances and his optimism. Farewell my friend, fare the well.
Alan

Posted by Alan G.Vaughan (not verified) | 06/11/2013 @ 09:31 AM
Charles was a good friend and colleague. He faced his illness with bravery; I will miss him.

Chriss

Posted by Dr. Chriss Warren Foster (not verified) | 06/11/2013 @ 08:38 PM
I want to thank charles for his gentle friendly invitation each time I peaked in to his sand tray demonstration at an RC. Mostly I want to thank him for his dedication working to help one of our students with her essays and dissertation dealing with origins and practices of the Afro-American church. His knowledge was great and his willingness to keep working between treatments and surgeries, until his last weeks to help this student illustrates his commitment to helping others. This gentle caring man will be missed.

Posted by Marc Pilisuk (not verified) | 06/11/2013 @ 11:16 PM
Dr. Cannady was my first introduction to Saybrook. Having
bee out of school for many years & traveling from out of State
I was nervous to say the least. He was so warm and Hillarious
Via his “sand tray therapy” I felt encouraged to reach my full potential
& in part because of him I went on to earning both my MA & PhD via Saybrook.
May u rest in peace until we meet again.

Posted by Janice (not verified) | 06/13/2013 @ 02:53 PM
The words you whispered to me that day have offered me years of comfort and self assurance on those days we all have when we doubt our abilities to serve. All the schlepping of all the sand play stuff….good grief Charles I just love how exuberant, classy, generous and and wonderful your energy is/was. I’m so grateful for your beautiful presence on this planet.
The world is better for having you in it. I’m talking my walk and whatever heaven is; I’m guessing you’re there in it. Thank you.

Posted by Debbie Devine (not verified) | 06/13/2013 @ 03:14 PM
Dr.Cannady I will always love you and the Sandtray course. It in 2004 I took the Sandtray course it was there I learned my mother had passed away. My mom presence was heavily felt that day.
Your love and compassion I will never forget.
In 2008 you reached out to me when you learned I had had stroke.
Dr.Cannady you will never be erase from my heart
Peace

Posted by phyllis jackson (not verified) | 06/17/2013 @ 05:34 PM
My motivation for learning….Dr. Cannady

Posted by Anonymous (not verified) | 06/29/2013 @ 02:57 AM
dear dear charles…
i have been having the feeling that you have made your death transition…
i have been feeling you so much the past few months…as i wrote to you from
vienna with no response from you…i have been feeling you …feeling your smile and
very gentle presence…
i wanted so much to see you when i come to berkeley in nov to sing in berkeley…

i remember that you told me how you wanted me to come to play your piano
and how you wanted a voice session…

dear charles..,
i know that you were not afraid…to die…
and some how i feel so proud of you…
i have the feeling that we will be communicating soon…

i will never forget when i met you at the sf conservatory when i was 17…
and how you played the piano for me…
i might have played flute with you as well…

yes …im seeing your face now…
you look good dear friend…
thank you for showing me your office when i was in calif three years ago…
and thanks for the little statues of mary and joseph and the baby jesus that
you gave to me from your collection….

i am sure that you are still doing what you did when you were with us here on this
side of the veil…

thanks for the inspiration…
and thanks for being a friend…
love and blessings on your journey …
hannibal means..

Posted by hannibal means (not verified) | 09/09/2013 @ 01:31 PM

Marginalization: The Pendulum Swings Both Ways

5 April 2013
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To marginalize is the process of relegating or confining to a lower or outer limit or edge, as of social standing. Hence, marginalization is the social process of becoming or being made marginal (especially as a group within the larger society): “the marginalization of the underclass” or “the marginalization of literature.” Although marginalization is often defined as the process of making a group or class of people less important or relegated to a secondary position, (e.g., when one class of people is grouped together as second class citizens), this article intends to illuminate the implications of marginalization at the opposite end of the spectrum—outer limit or edge—patronization.

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“The marginal man … is one whom fate has condemned to live in two societies and in two, not merely different but antagonistic cultures…. his mind is the crucible in which two different and refractory cultures may be said to melt and, either wholly or in part, fuse.” (Source: E.V. Stonequist)

Marginalization at the individual level results in an individual’s exclusion from meaningful participation in society. An example of marginalization at the individual level is the exclusion of single mothers from the welfare system prior to the welfare reform of the 1900s. The modern welfare system is based on the concept of entitlement to the basic means of being a productive member of society, both as an organic function of society and as compensation for the socially useful labor provided.

A single mother’s contribution to society is not based on formal employment, but on the notion that provision of welfare for children is a necessary social expense. Single mothers were previously marginalized in spite of their significant role in the socialization of children due to two main views:

  1. An individual can only contribute meaningfully to society through “gainful” employment.
  2. Cultural bias against unwed mothers.

Today, marginalization is primarily a function of class conditions.

Recommended read: “Embodied racism”

Another example of individual marginalization is the exclusion of individuals with disabilities from the labor force. In Dr. Wes Shera’s book “Emerging Perspectives on Anti-Oppressive Practice,” Grandz discusses an employer’s viewpoint about hiring individuals living with disabilities as jeopardizing productivity, increasing the rate of absenteeism, and creating more accidents in the workplace. Also in this publication, Cantor discusses employer concern about the excessively high cost of accommodating people with disabilities. The marginalization of individuals with disabilities is prevalent today, despite the legislation intended to prevent it in most Western countries, and the academic achievements, skills, and training of many disabled people.

There are also exclusions of lesbian-gay-bisexual-transgender (LGBT) and other intersexual people because of their sexual orientations and gender identities as individual marginalization. The Yogyakarta Principles require that the states and communities abolish any stereotypes about LGBT people as well as stereotyped gender roles.

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One of the most difficult feelings to rid oneself of is the emotional turmoil associated with being marginalized by a person or group in the position of power. Feelings of anger and confusion are often followed with those of inferiority. The internal struggle is exacerbated when it seems obvious that the perpetrator had no ill intent in conveying the denigrating message, particularly when patronizing. Society is replete with these microaggressions that more often than not go unnoticed but have a lasting impact on the recipient.

In “Perceptions of Racial Microaggressions Among African American Males in Higher Education: A Heuristic Inquiry,” Solórzano, Ceja, and Yosso define microaggressions as brief, everyday exchanges that send denigrating messages to certain individuals because of their group membership (people of color, women, the LGBT community). The term was first coined by Chester M. Pierce in 1970 in his work with African-Americans, where he defined it as “subtle, stunning, often automatic, and nonverbal exchanges which are ‘put-downs’.” They have also been described as “subtle insults (verbal, nonverbal, and/or visual) directed toward people of color, often automatically or unconsciously.”

Derald Wing Sue’s research related to the psychology of microaggressions indicates that white individuals are often unaware of the cumulative harm that people of color experience from being routinely subjected to various racial microaggressions. According to Sue, these are microinvalidations characterized by communications or environmental cues that exclude, negate, or nullify the psychological thoughts, feelings, or experiential reality of certain groups, such as people of color, women, and the LGBT community. In many ways, microinvalidations may potentially represent the most damaging form of microaggressions because they directly and insidiously deny the racial, gender, or sexual-orientation reality of these groups.

According to Sue, the power to impose reality on marginalized groups represents the ultimate form of oppression. Examples of microinvalidations can be heard in everyday statements such as “Low man on the totem pole,” and in everyday actions such as over-validation, a form of patronization.

Eduardo Bonilla-Silva defined subtle forms of racial bias, referred to as color-blind racism, which refers to the conception among white individuals that considerations of race are presently no longer relevant in people’s lives in the United States. Contemporary color-blind racism is expressed in everyday beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors that are considered acceptable, and even commendable, by white individuals who use them. Accordingly, such attitudes are so deeply embedded in societal values and practices that they lie outside the consciousness of many well-intentioned white people who may genuinely consider themselves to be non-racist.

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Despite the continuum of racial biases and marginalization of other disenfranchised groups, great strides are being taken by individuals and special interest groups to “fix” the problems associated with discrimination of marginalized groups. However, in attempting to ameliorate the problem, patronization is often the resulting bandage over an infected wound.

To be patronized is to be treated as if you are less intelligent or knowledgeable than the person you’re speaking with, and it can be one of the most frustrating experiences you can have in life.

Anyone can be patronized—men, women, seniors, young people—and patronization can take on many forms, such as:

  • Addressing someone by his or her first name when others are addressed more properly
  • Patting a person in a wheelchair on the head or soldier
  • Giving excess praise to someone for a fairly simple action
  • Assigning someone remedial tasks at work or at home
  • Speaking slowly or excessively loudly to an elderly person
  • Talking “down” to someone

Another example of patronization can be found in the Time article “It’s No Big Deal,” referencing the Supreme Court’s decision on gay rights:

“It was sweet of Justice Kennedy to say gays can now ‘enter upon [a] relationship in the confines of their homes … and still retain their dignity as free persons.’ Apparently, gay-activist lawyers wept in court upon hearing this. But they should know that dignity is not the court’s to give. Gays have found their own dignity through decades of refusing to hide. For the court to come around, at this late date, to acknowledge our existence as ‘free persons’ is shockingly patronizing; it’s condescension that has been cast as liberation. I’m glad those two Texas fellas can freely have sex, but they still can’t visit each other in certain hospitals, serve openly in the military or get married. Let’s save the banner headlines for when they can.”

Thankfully, there are advancements due to recent changes in legislation.

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Being patronized is more than just frustrating. It can lead to issues with self-esteem and can negatively affect your performance at work. In fact, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, male bosses who patronized their female employees undermined their performance. The bosses patronized the women workers by offering them excessive praise but no “valued resources” such as raises or promotions.

“The patronizing behavior of male bosses created gender differences in performance where they otherwise did not exist,” said Theresa Vescio, a Penn State University assistant professor of psychology who led the study.
Perhaps the most damaging form of patronization is that of excessive praise to select members of marginalized groups. This not only undermines the group from which the recipient of the praise is from but also alienates the representative of that group by singling out him or her. This consequently leads to shame, embarrassment, and more often than not disconnectedness from one’s group, which in turn perpetuates the familiar emotion of feeling invisible within and without one’s given group.

It is my premise that because these attitudes often lie outside the consciousness of many well-intended people who consider themselves to be unbiased, an attempt by such to compensate/overcorrect leads to the pendulum that swings in the direction toward oppression and ostracization to swing opposingly toward patronization. As well-intended, non-disenfranchised groups endeavor to make marginalized groups feel less marginalized by incorporating adequate representation, one must be mindful not to make the representative an “expert” on that particular group’s cultural affairs or patronize the representative by giving excessive praise. Hence, this too becomes marginalization. A key tenet is finding a fulcrum and maintaining a balance between ostracization and patronization. I submit that balance candidly and simply be humanized.

References:  

Bonilla-Silva, E. (2006). Racism without racists: Color-blind racism and the persistence of racial inequality in the United States. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.

Cloud, J. (2003). It’s no big deal. Time Magazine. New York, NY.

Granger, N. (2011). Perceptions of racial microaggressions among African American males in higher education: A heuristic inquiry.

Leslie, D.R., Leslie K. & Murphy M. (2003). Inclusion by design: The challenge for social work in workplace accommodation for people with disabilities. In W. Shera (Eds.), Emerging perspectives on anti-oppression practice (pp. 157–169). Toronto, ON: Canadian Scholar’s Press.

Park, R. E. (1937). Cultural conflict and the marginal man. In E. V. Stonequist, The marginal man, (introduction). New York, NY: Charles Scribner’s Sons.

Pierce, C., Carew, J., Pierce-Gonzalez, D., & Willis, D. (1978). An experiment in racism: TV commercials. In C. Pierce (Ed.), Television and education (pp. 62-88). Beverly Hills, CA: Sage.

Solórzano, D., Ceja, M., & Yosso, T. (2000). Critical race theory, racial
microaggressions, and campus racial climate: The experiences of African American college students. The Journal of Negro Education, 69(1/2), 60-73.

Sue, D.W. (2003). Overcoming our racism: The journey to liberation. San Francisco, CA. Jossey-Boss.

Sue, D.W. (2010). Microaggressions in everyday life: Race, gender, and sexual orientation. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.

Vescio, T. (2005) Patronizing conduct can negatively affect women employees’ performance. Penn State University, Live: The University Official News Source.

_

 Guest contributor Dr. Nathaniel Granger Jr. works as a psychology instructor at Pikes Peak Community College and is the founder/pastor and CEO of Be REAL Ministries, Inc. in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Equal rights and civil rights along with his doctoral dissertation, “Perceptions of Racial Microaggressions among African American Males in Higher Education: A Heuristic Inquiry” form the substratum upon which a majority of his work is predicated.

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